Nose Picking

Hey, I don't mean to imply anything by this, but don't you think it's more than just a coincidence that our index fingers fit into our nostrils with lock-and-key precision? Is it meant to be?

Ads

Yes, it’s true, the blog now has ads. Just think what a goldmine this could be if only a fraction of my readership were to click on the ads.

Kosher

I'm only slightly kosher. I'll eat shrimp and I'll eat bacon, but I will not eat shrimp wrapped in bacon. That is a line that I just can't cross.

Beverages I Have Invented

The Crown Royal/Royal Crown - Crown Royal whiskey and R.C. Cola.

The Jack n' Tonic - Jack Daniels whiskey and tonic water. It rolls right off the tongue yet would taste awful. Your waitress will do a double-take.

The Rebel and Redbull - Czech Rebel beer with Redbull.

The Neutralizer - A glass full of liquid acid. Then drop in an antacid.

The Rumbler - Prune juice and Kaopectate.

The Fizzy Lemon - A blast of flavor. One part Sprite, one part 7Up and one part Sierra Mist.

The Sacrilegious Mimosa - Dom Perignon champagne and Sunny Delight.

The Aunt Flo - Essentially identical to a Bloody Mary.

The Citrus Rum Rascal - Milk and Sambuca (the name is actually a misnomer).

BL Lime

I am so frickin sick of having to slice up a lime every time I want a refreshing blast of citrus in my bud light. Thank god someone finally thought of this.

Running Mate

CONGRATULATIONS TO JOE BUDDEN!

You will make a great running mate!

"blog"

This blog will be just like "The Godfather" by Mario Puzo, which never once uses the word mafia. Similarly, my blog will never actually use the word blog.

Well, from now on.

Also, this blog will be just like "The Godfather" in that it will be a masterpiece.

Dammit.

Brooke

My dog is awesome. Just deal with it.