Dirty Soap

When things get dirty we rely on soap to clean them. But what do we do when the soap itself gets dirty?This one will keep you up all night.

Pibb

Did you know that the Latin word pibb translates literally to "nectar of the gods?"

Mr. Pibb has always had an inferiority complex about not going to medical school like his counterpart Dr. Pepper. Is that why he changed his name to Pibb Xtra?
Anyways, it turns out you don't need a degree to make the most delicious soda ever.

Food

Somehow a disproportionate number of posts on the Prospective Perspective are food-related. This is entirely unintentional.

Samoas

If you ask me, there's no better way to honor a people and their culture than with a delicious cookie. Here's to you, Samoa.


Suprisingly, these cookies have been very controversial. It seems certain Samoans, either allergic to coconut or just sensitive about their weight, have lobbied to re-name these cookies Caramel deLites. The Girl Scouts have been accomodating in markets with larger Samoan populations.

Firefighters

While I realize that the intention of this commercial is to portray firefighters as a group that has the ability to get things done, instead it really shows them as a bunch of guys with little or no understanding of the legislative process. You can't just approve bills without first reading them and determining whether the required funds exist.

Blinds To Go

I've always been amazed by these stores. Is it really necessary to say that the blinds are TO GO? Does anyone ever order blinds TO STAY?

Beans

It should be noted that although the Prospective Perspective may have temporarily banned all posts relating to nuts and legumes, this ban does not apply to beans, which are, technically speaking, a magical fruit.

In My Pants

This one is for all the ladies who have ever wanted to know what I've got in my pants. Scroll down for a detailed diagram...

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Cashews

Ladies and gentlemen, it seems that hard times are upon us. Now is not the time for luxury. If you're looking to save some money, I'd suggest switching to cashew halves. You get just as many cashews.

Nature vs. Nurture

Little known fact:
While most people assume that Vinnie and Treach agree on everything, in the early days they were known for their heated debates. For example, Vinnie believed that one's character is the result of upbringing and experience while Treach believed that personality is largely innate. In the end, Treach was victorious and Vinnie gave up his fight to name the group Naughty By Nurture.

Pop Tarts

If I may make a suggestion to the people at Pop Tarts... Why limit yourselves to only breakfast and dessert? There are many meals that could be eaten in the form of a rectangular pastry treat. Just hear me out: Chicken Pot Pop Tarts.

Ms. Pac-Man

What's up with Ms. Pac-Man using the "Ms." title? Is she married to Pac-Man or not? Or are they just shacking up? Does she use it because she's a feminist? Why doesn't Pac-Man go by Mr. Pac-Man?

More importantly, wouldn't it make more sense if she was Pac-Woman?

Also, does she have to be so damn sexy?

Credit Crunch

So far the credit crunch has not been as tasty as it sounds.

Election Season

Yes, once again it's election season, which can only mean one thing; things are very tense around my apartment. The mood can get quite uncomfortable when you live with a dog who is so conservative. She is even anti-spaying and neutering. In this photo you can see her giving me the silent treatment for my stance on gun control.

Turducken

If you haven't heard of a turducken, it's a chicken stuffed inside of a duck stuffed inside of a turkey. I've never tasted it, but it sounds like a scrumptious journey into the deliciousness of poultry. In this day in age, people are simply not satisfied with only one kind of meat. Which is why I would like to present some variations on the turducken.

Osphecorn – More poultry. A Cornish game hen stuffed inside of a pheasant stuffed inside of an ostrich.

Beelapork - A pig (pork) stuffed inside of a lamb stuffed inside of a cow (beef).

Buffvigoat – A goat stuffed inside of a deer (venison) stuffed inside of a buffalo. For those who prefer a gamier flavor.

Lobcrallop – Seafood style. A scallop stuffed inside of a crab stuffed inside of a lobster.

Eggporter - Just so you don't think I forgot the vegetarians. A veggie burger stuffed inside of a portabello mushroom stuffed inside of an eggplant.

Sninkie-Q – A dessert delicacy. A Suzy-Q stuffed inside of a Twinkie stuffed inside of a Sno Ball.

Fradpole – A tadpole stuffed inside of a frog. Also tog. I realize this only involves two elements, but I think it's cool that they're both of the same species during different stages of the lifecycle.

Chefs of the world, I hope you're paying attention.

Uproar

I realize that my loyal fanbase is up in arms about the lack of blog posts lately. Let me just reassure my readers that recently I've been very busy and I intend to follow this short hiatus with posts that are even more profound and more insightful than my previous posts (if that's even possible).

Caesar Salad

Last night I ate a Caesar Salad that would have Caesar himself rolling over in his grave. Do you really think that the greatest ruler of the most powerful empire in ancient history would want to be remembered with soggy croutons and wilted lettuce?
Et tu, Olive Garden?

Venus Fly Trap

To me, the cruelest joke ever played on vegetarians is the existence of the Venus Fly Trap, a carnivorous plant. Is a vegetarian alllowed to eat a plant that eats meat? Such irony.

Nose Picking

Hey, I don't mean to imply anything by this, but don't you think it's more than just a coincidence that our index fingers fit into our nostrils with lock-and-key precision? Is it meant to be?

Ads

Yes, it’s true, the blog now has ads. Just think what a goldmine this could be if only a fraction of my readership were to click on the ads.

Kosher

I'm only slightly kosher. I'll eat shrimp and I'll eat bacon, but I will not eat shrimp wrapped in bacon. That is a line that I just can't cross.

Beverages I Have Invented

The Crown Royal/Royal Crown - Crown Royal whiskey and R.C. Cola.

The Jack n' Tonic - Jack Daniels whiskey and tonic water. It rolls right off the tongue yet would taste awful. Your waitress will do a double-take.

The Rebel and Redbull - Czech Rebel beer with Redbull.

The Neutralizer - A glass full of liquid acid. Then drop in an antacid.

The Rumbler - Prune juice and Kaopectate.

The Fizzy Lemon - A blast of flavor. One part Sprite, one part 7Up and one part Sierra Mist.

The Sacrilegious Mimosa - Dom Perignon champagne and Sunny Delight.

The Aunt Flo - Essentially identical to a Bloody Mary.

The Citrus Rum Rascal - Milk and Sambuca (the name is actually a misnomer).

BL Lime

I am so frickin sick of having to slice up a lime every time I want a refreshing blast of citrus in my bud light. Thank god someone finally thought of this.

Running Mate

CONGRATULATIONS TO JOE BUDDEN!

You will make a great running mate!

"blog"

This blog will be just like "The Godfather" by Mario Puzo, which never once uses the word mafia. Similarly, my blog will never actually use the word blog.

Well, from now on.

Also, this blog will be just like "The Godfather" in that it will be a masterpiece.

Dammit.

Brooke

My dog is awesome. Just deal with it.